Real Talk: Stop Saying Sorry



Something that I think an awful lot of us can be guilty of is saying 'sorry' when we really don't need to. I'm *that guy* who someone will say "stop apologising!" to and I will always, unintentionally answer with "I'm sorry!" to only be met either an angry defeated sigh or a clip around the back of the head. It's something I've always done and as I've gotten older, I've gotten better at not doing it in certain situations and worse in others. I don't know if it's tied to my anxiety, my low confidence, or just the fact that I don't like confrontation, but either way it's always been apparent and an unfortunate trait of mine. But now sitting here at 26, I've realised there's many things I apologise for which don't need to have a "I'm sorry" anywhere in sight. I'm talking about the things that make me *me* that others don't like, would prefer to change, or just outright like to disappear. So to those folks and those things I feel the need to apologise for, I'm giving you a big ol' middle finger and here's why:

"I'm no longer sorry for not drinking alcohol."
I'm not going to start all guns blazing, but something that I always apologise for (and I'm still doing at the moment I've sat down to write this) is not wanting to drink alcohol. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to sit here and say I'm T-total as I'm partial to the odd alcoholic ginger beer when it's sunny outside however I just don't like alcohol. I used to go out quite regularly when I was younger and in my early twenties and whilst I'll get nostalgic about the memories of those hilarious nights out, I just didn't enjoy the drinking part. Generally, I'm a good drunk and just act exactly the same but sillier, but sometimes it has played havoc with my mental health and in turn made me ill for days. I just don't even enjoy the taste of almost all alcoholic beverages but people can't seem to deal with that. "Don't be such a bore" should be printed on a tee for me to wear where I decline an invite out for a night on the toon - I just don't want it. I still will occasionally go out for an afternoon of cocktails with my best pal, but drinking til you're blind drunk? It's a no from me and guess what? That doesn't make me boring in the slightest.

"I'm no longer sorry for being an introvert."
Which leads me onto possibly one of my biggest peeves about myself due to the reaction of others - I am not sorry for liking to stay in in my PJs reading with a cuppa instead of going out to a loud bar, a crowded shopping centre etc etc etc. I've talked about why it's okay to prefer this kind of lifestyle before, but it's honestly something I've had to convince myself is okay to do. It's encouraging to see that more and more young people especially seem to be comfortable with identifying as a bit of a homebody and it doesn't seem to have as much stigma attached to it any more however, it is still a big hurdle for many.
"You're so boring!"
"Don't be so anti-social"
"You need to get out more"

All these phrases are thrown around and so many times in the past I have ended up giving in and doing what others want me to do but do you know what? I'm not boring - I get to do what I enjoy whether that's reading, painting, blogging, going out for walks, visiting a museum etc. - it's all on my terms. And you know what? I'm 110% anti-social and I don't give a damn. I really enjoy my own company. I like the company of small groups of people I really love and like. I don't want to go out and meet 20+ of your mates and pretend I'm having a good time. I don't need to get out more because actually? I feel pretty fulfilled and content yet happy to switch things up and continue to grow which to me is the balance everyone strives towards so yeah - no more apologies here!

"I am no longer sorry for having a small friendship group."
I guess this one is linked to what I spoke about above, but I'm really not sorry for enjoying my own company and only that of a handful of individuals. I've even had close friends in the past feel almost pity for me because I relish in this social style, but I no longer feel bad about it. There's lots of people who love surrounding themselves with lots of people and there's also people who like to be with me myself and I and of course, plent of folks in between. I like trusting only a handful of people and I'll be honest - I'm a bit of a sucky friend as I don't constantly check in to see how my friends are, what they're up to etc. so having only a few friends I actively want to keep track of because I care about them makes me happy.

Images courtesy of Grime & Glamour Photography

"I am no longer sorry for my interests."
Although this is something I've never necessarily apologised for, I have sometimes played down my interest in certain things in order to fit in with the people I'm speaking to or to avoid confrontation/mocking. This is something I do less now and I think a lot of it is to do with getting older and becoming more comfortable with who I am and my personality, but it's also because I'm really not sorry for what gives me joy.

"I am no longer sorry for changing."
How many times have you apologised for not liking something anymore? For not being interested in a person anymore? For changing your opinion on a particular political argument? We all change and grow as people and very few of us like the exact same things we did when we were 16 as we do when we're 26. It's just a natural process as incidents in our lives change us and that could be big events, people we meet, or just something small and personal that is extremely unique to each individual. As I mentioned earlier, I no longer want to go out dancing til 4am after 1O+ drinks and would rather be in bed by 1Opm with a good skincare routine. It's something we all go through and we all change at different rates so we need to accept that other people - especially those closest to us - might point out these changes and we need to address them. But address them in a positive way. If the change is benefiting you; if it's making you a better *more you* you then "sorry" shouldn't be anywhere in sight.

"I am no longer sorry for asking silly questions and voicing my opinions."
The last thing I want to mention is the fact that I no longer apologise for asking things and educating myself. I'm a firm believer that people should be able to speak their minds and it is the duty of all of us to accept and tolerate that and if that opinion is something we don't personally agree with? Challenge it. Ask the individual why they think or feel that way. Ask what brought them to that particular conclusion. Something I see an awful lot of on Twitter especially is people saying down right silly shit like "If you believe *insert thing I don't personally agree with* unfollow me right now!" and you know what? Those of you who do that are foolish. You are! If someone believes the complete opposite to you or says something that offends you, explain to them why it is offensive. Explain why in your eyes it isn't a solid argument. Do that in case that person didn't have all the information and therefore their opinion may be formed on lies or skewed truths. The opinion could be held on the foundation of naivety. You can actually help others and also yourself by being open and honest about what knowledge you are lacking. Whilst some sillies might be dismissing people based on the surface of their opposing views on the likes of Twitter, there are also young people asking about advice on matters such as the current election in the UK in equal measure. And that, that is worth so many pats on the back for those unapologetically curious folk.



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Spring Nail Colour Palette



Another Wednesday, another post celebrating makeup and the fact that it's spring time *applauds can be heard for miles around*. Although the weather hasn't been great all of the time recently, it is slowly getting there and it always makes me want to switch up a lot of aspects of my makeup. A couple of weeks ago I told you guys all about my current favourite lipsticks for spring so I thought I better tell you my other fave makeup product to switch up for spring - nails. Classically, nails are always pastel shades when it comes to spring and easter time and whilst I do love pastels, I also like using bright vibrant shades during this time of the year too to shake things up a little bit and celebrate the fact that we're seeing the lighter mornings and flowers in bloom. This year, I've been wearing a range of shades already so here are some I keep coming back to week in week out this spring:

Barry M Speedy Quick Dry in 'Pit Stop' and 'Pole Position' | £2.99 each - Barry M's Speedy Quick Dry range is my go-to range for gorgeous pastel shades. I own quite a few of this range in a range of colours, but two shades I've been wearing the most lately is Pit Stop and Pole Position. Pit Stop is a really unusual lilac/mauve/grey shade that is unlike anything else I own in my collection and Pole Position is a gorgeous pastel green. Unlike most pastel greens, this shade isn't your typical minty shade and is more lime in shade so again, it's a little different. These nail polishes are great for us lazy impatient girls as they really do dry down quickly and you only need two coats and you're good to go. Some of my other favourite shades in this range for spring are Eat My Dust (a gorgeous cornflower powder blue) and On Your Marks (a true pastel buttercup/daffodil yellow).

Rimmel London 6O Second Super Shine by Rita Ora in 'Neon Fest' | £2.99 - Another great drugstore range that is cheap, quick, and easy to use is the Rimmel 6O Second Super Shines. Again, I own a lot of these but my current favourite is a colour I would never usually choose as it's pink. Bright pink. I'm not a pink girl but I *love* how this shade looks on my nails and I think it sits on my skin colour so so well. It's going to be a great colour for summer too but I'm loving it right now too. These 6O second polishes are even nicer to use than the Speedy Barry Ms as they are really smooth to apply and extremely pigmented so you can get away with just one coat with a lot of the shades. Perfect for those lovely sunny spring days when you just need to get ready and go asap.

From left to right: Superdrug cosmetics bag, Topshop Nails in, Barry M Speedy Quick Dry in 'Pit Stop', Barry M Speedy Quick Dry in 'Pole Position', Rimmel London 6O Second in 'Neon Fest', and Barry M Gelly Hi-Shine in 'Almond'

Barry M Gelly Hi-Shine Nail Paint in 'Almond' | £3.99 - My absolute favourite nail range needs to be mentioned now and that's the Barry M Gelly Hi-Shines. These polishes are so glossy and gel nail-looking but for a fraction of the price. I love so many colours in this range but a shade I'm particularly loving right now is Almond - a muted soft beige/brown nude that looks so sophisticated and classy. This is such a nice colour to wear if you work in an environment that doesn't allow bold nail shades or even if you simply just don't like them! And it's a great alternative to the traditional pastel spring colours. These polishes are my favourite because they're so shiny and I have so many favourite colours in the range. The formula is very opaque and as they're more of a faux-gel formula, they last so long on the nails without chipping. They're definitely worth the extra quid compared to the normal Barry M paints!

Topshop Nails in 'Green Room' | £5.OO - And lastly, a favourite from a range I haven't actually delved into that much but certainly will be after the few I have tried from them and that is the Topshop Nails range. This particular colour, Green Room, is such a lovely vibrant turquoise and will look amazing in summer but also looks great with pastel-coloured clothing during spring. I wouldn't say the formula of these polishes is my favourite as I find them a little bit watery and sheer, however they do dry down super quick so layers are easily buildable. The range seems to vary continuously in their shade and formula range but occasionally they bring out some absolute gems that are really unique and I'm definitely going to be picking up some more.



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Ruffles, Mesh & More



Happy Monday folks! I'm currently packing my suitcase in preparation for leaving my beloved north east and heading back to Winchester, ready to go back to work after a glorious few days off (I know, woe is me). This outfit is something I've been wearing a great deal over the last couple of months and is usually an ensemble I reach for on grim rainy cold days (hence the *brilliant* quality in photos - sarcasm everywhere). I've mentioned a million times just how much I love these jeans, but teamed with these platform very 70s boots and this lovely flowing top and I feel a little bit extra sassy. It's nice wearing all of these things together on the grey days as it's an outfit that's not too hot or not too cold in these turbulent weather changes. This top from Bershka is especially amazing as the embroidery detail gives it a great pop of colour and manages to incorporate that boho kind of vibe I love so much into a very goth/grunge style top which also pleases my inner scene kid.

Bershka Layered Top (similar) | Asos Jeans | Reclaimed Vintage via Asos Embroidered Bag (similar) |
Boohoo Platform Boots



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